I just finished writing a workbook for an upcoming workshop that I am hosting, for men that work too hard. It seems like the first thing to go out the window when we get overwhelmed… is our self-care.
Whether you live a life walking down easy street… Or you obsess over your next achievement like a junkie looking for its next fix… overwhelm happens to everyone. When you are drowning in your responsibilities… it can feel like no one understands. Typically this is when we put on our victim sunglasses and start the “why me” movie (I am guilty as the rest of em).
One of my clients, was a single mom that had been abandoned by her baby’s daddy. She worked full-time during the day, and went to night-school to become a nurse. She has two kids, no financial support, no close family. Yet instead of giving up, she hired me to help her eat better… so she could support herself. Her daughter needed new glasses, her other child was sick. In a candid conversation she said to me: “Life hasn’t given me anything I can’t handle yet… And although sometimes I cry with the door closed while my children sleep, I know this situation has forced me to thrive.”
While we cleaned out her pantry, we also discussed a few ways she could help herself.
We decided to start by making a list. Priority to insignificant. We cut out anything that falls under insignificant; scheduling deadline’s for priority items. (Often when our mind is racing, and we slip further into to-do debt, we add things on to our list..just to make ourselves feel like crap.)
Delegate tasks. Asking for help is hard for most of us… But instead of getting mad at someone for not understanding you, ask them for help instead. She asked her best friend to watch her kids for the evening, while she studied at the library. She came home to a hot meal, a warm bath, and a clean house. Her best friend stayed watching the kids so she could have a bath.
SAY NO. This might mean turning off social media, telling your bff you can’t power text tonight, or saying “I can’t” when a colleague asks for a favour. I encouraged her to carry around the word NO in her back pocket.
Most importantly: Breathe. Take a yoga class. Run a bath. Even if that feels counterintuitive, it will help you so much. I promise. Just remember: THIS TOO SHALL PASS.