When I was living in Toronto, I lived in a model apartment with four girls. One of which, was no-bones-about-it anorexic. She would hide in her room eating painkillers, and smoking cigarettes. On the rare occasion, she would join us in the living room, voluntarily advicing us on skipping meals at shoots.
I will be the first to say, the fashion industry can contribute to all kinds of body-image issues. Model or not. (I am not discussing disordered eating in this post, more so life choices. If you struggle with an eating disorder, you should find support. )
It took me many years to stop blaming the model industry for my own suffering. In this… I learnt a valuable lesson…
Passing the blame for any choice we make about ourselves, will not empower us to make healthy positive change. We cannot look at a magazine, decide to starve ourselves, or go eat a box of cookies, and say it was the pressure of the media that made us do it. Not as an adult that desires to make change.
Trust me, I took all the shortcuts I could as a model. Yet nothing had long-term results, and NOTHING made me feel good about myself.
The day I started embracing being healthy, eating clean, and gaining a few pounds in the process, was both liberating and healing.
A simple act of honouring myself, over honouring some unrealistic standard that kept me feeling unworthy, was exactly the self-love act I needed.
Riveting concept, I know! Here is the thing, sometimes you have to parent yourself. Be that loving mother, that helps you do what is right and responsible.
A lot of us aren’t taught how to actually honour ourselves. Equally, we strive to get results and impress those around us. Criticism triggers us, bringing up all kinds of insecurities and emotions. Shame, guilt, fear, and rejection. Ain’t no body wanna feel like this. It is not uncommon in these moments to take shortcuts, sell ourselves short, or self-soothe (in negative ways).
Making the healthy right choice might not be an easy one…
The next time you find yourself in an unworthy funk, ask yourself these two questions:
What Do I Need?
Is This Taking Care Of Myself?
Maybe the best choice is to stop reading magazines that create unworthy dialogue; instead going to a yoga class. You have a choice. Each choice you make, creates your reality.
How do you honour yourself?