Bad relationship. Bad job. Sometimes it can be hard to know when enough is ENOUGH.
Just when you convince yourself you cannot go on, something happens that revives hope and joy.
“Maybe it’s not so bad?!”
A week later, you are asking yourself “Why am I still here?!”
Perhaps it is safe, easy, or you fear it is the best you can do… Nevertheless there is this nagging feeling in your heart.
The rational mind and the emotional heart speak a different language.
Being “confused” is a sneaky, yet very powerful distraction. I know how it goes, you go back in thinking “maybe it will work THIS time”.
I do endorse, trusting the gut, but the busy mind can almost make the gut flip with enough persuasion.
So how do you find an answer?
- Connect with yourself and a journal.
- Take ‘maybe’ & ‘I don’t know’ out of your vocabulary.
- Calculate the average of how you feel daily. How often do you FEEL good? (Honestly!)
- Explore some desired core feelings. How do you want to feel?
- Does 3 & 4 match up?
- Tell your fears to sit in the passenger seat.
- Create your ideal outcome.
- Schedule in some goals on how to get there.
This can be tricky with a relationship (whether it be boss, friend, or lover), as it takes two to tango. Don’t focus on the other person, just yourself. Who do you want to be? How do you want to show up?
It isn’t realistic to say “My goal is to have my boss give me a raise”. That is leaving the power in the bosses hands. Just like it isn’t realistic to say “I want my partner to MAKE ME feel sexy”. Or “I want my friend to call me more”. What is realistic, is to say “My goal is to do such satisfying work leaving me proud and worthy of bigger things.” Or “My goal is to embody behaviours that leave me feeling sexy”. “I will create fulfilling moments within my friendships”.
When you feel something, so does everyone else, it most definitely will get noticed! It might also bring on new opportunity, or (at the very least) the courage to walk away.
Quit the old version of yourself, and the rest will become quite clear. Boots, start walkin….